#ive been able to take care of a lot of needed things but this shit has been stressing me out
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nekomimineurosurgery · 9 months ago
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mutual aid request !!!
hiii its kay :) rise nekomimineurosurgery nation!!!!! ive been struggling to make ends meet this month since i am finishing up CNA classes and have been scraping cash and trying to sell things like crazy to make rent this month. unfortunately it's due tomorrow and my dumb ass is still $200 short!
if anybody could help out, i would be grateful, because i want to get to a place where i no longer have to make any posts like these really soon....
i make all kinds of art, fun kandi, lolita style headdresses, if you would like to commission or buy me in any capacity to make it worth ur while c; check out my art highlight reel on my insta @ rainbowphilia !
my cashapp is $Kayispoor and I have paypal I can give over DM :+)
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yo9urt · 18 days ago
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applied for a job a while ago and wrote in my spreadsheet "i am not fucking getting this job" not because of the qualifications but because my application was honestly just not that good. today the lady called me and scheduled an interview. Ok
#mine#i dont knowwwww though#urgh...#its in the city where i went to college so i know its a nice place thats familiar to me#but its also pretty hcol and the job itself is like...idk about the pay#the content of the job is good though like its basically exactly what ive been wanting to do#but then i keep coming back to my hysto...i really want that too#it sucks its like a rock and a hard place you know#i dont want to keep delaying this surgery i want my shit gone NOW#but at the same time i dont want to keep delaying my ~career~#and then i think well theres more jobs in the world...but then i think about how few ive applied to since graduating#and how long it might take me to find one after surgery#and if ill even want to or not cause this country is getting old#i want a job...but i also want my hysto...#i dont want to like get a job and then go do it and then be stuck for ages waiting for PTO and bennies to kick in and to find someone who#can take care of me when i can instead do it now like i already have a letter from my therapist and consultations upcoming#but also i need money and i dont wanna fuck up my early ~career~ days#I DONT KNOW#its a lot#i just wish id done the damn surgery sooner but i couldnt in 2023 cause i was working that summer#and this year i naively thought that i would be able to get a job relatively fast and just get hysto next year after working for a while#WHATEVERRRRRR#the interview isnt for another week and a half so ill talk to my therapist and see what she thinks#if i need to cancel the thing i can if not then i wont#ughhhh
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motherforthefamicom · 4 months ago
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finally got the new desk set up in my room and cleaned out my dresser nd closet (had barely touched anything in there for Literal Years cuz of how much of a mess they were). feels surreal
#we still gotta figure out a new chair situation cuz the one ive been using#is Not Good its this awful office chair my dad had since before i was even born and its the most uncomfortable thing ever#also theres still a lot in my room that needs to be cleaned…….namely everything on top of the dresser XD#nd i gotta sort out a lot of my closet still ive been using it to store all my art n stuff for years its piled up so much stuff#that ive been meaning to get more organized AND scanned since its just. so much theres no real way i could take all of it#whenever i end up moving out.. i want to be able to still look back on it even if its not all physical#i found some goofy stuff while throwing out these old binders frm middle school i might post em#inquisitivewaltz.txt#realizing as im typing this out its a little. silly that this feels like such a big accomplishment#my rooms been fucking disgusting and an absolute mess for years now and im not very good at taking care of. well anything#so little stuff like this feels sorta relieving like. im kind of getting my life together in some sorta way#idk#oh wait also we didnt end up having to move as much as originally expected which im#pretty happy about i was really reluctant abt getting the new desk purely cuz itd completely alter the layout of my room#….which isnt very good rn but i didnt want to have to deal w the new thing i know for a fact what my parents had planned wouldve been worse#also the new desk has shelves so have more room to put shit and itll hopefully be actually more organized instead of#just throwing things onto my dresser and forgetting it even existed in the first place becuz it gets completely buried by everythint else
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princessmyriad · 2 months ago
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#personal#soo ive discovered a giant hole in my back tooth because medicare doesnt cover dental except for children#and so i havent been since i was 21 and i try to maintain tooth health at home but im not very good at it#due to being raised wrong about it and also autistic and i cant afford even a basic clean and checkup#which is what i was actually looking in my mouth and deciding i need which would be about 300 bucks already#and now im scared to eat anything because i definitely cant afford to make this worse 🙃#genuinely so much bad shit has happened and every time its like. ok ill pick myself up cause no one else will and dust off and things#will be fine in the end they always are and my heart believes this will be fine too but i dont remember the last time i was#this genuinely legitimately scared. im so scared and i dont know what to do#i know the next steps is to call dentists in my area tomorrow and check if they do medicare but i feel i already know the answer#idk if its better to have looked or to not and be able to live my life but its food time and i cant make myself eat#im scared to make it worse im scared of the pain that might cause im scared of the upward 2k damage costs if it gets worse#fuck#fucking fuck#okok panick attack over i have a two step plan: part one call around tomorrow and see if anyone takes medicare#part two: i have pliars and towels and painkillers and a lot of conviction in both my diy skills and my caring for my own wounds skills#in the mean time just be more dilligent to brush immediately after eating and ill grab mouthwash too as soon as i can as im currently out#i have a family friend whos a vet maybe theyve ripped out a rotted dogs tooth or two before and could help. but ill cross that bridge#when i get to it fir neow i should check with real dentists before making assumptions. and eat because ive been crying and shaking#and was already hungry and now am exhausted. from the aforementioned shaking and crying and need to eat even more#in all cases. dentist on medicare being the best obviously but in all cases im gonna ask to keep my tooth. unless i do it i dont need to ask#but i forgot when i had my wisdoms out a a few years ago. holy fuck that was like a decade ago actually wtf#ima make a necklace out of it since its just the one and not a pair#and just like that things will be fine. as expected as they always are once the panick mode is done im ok i have a plan and im good
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killjpeg-reblogs · 2 years ago
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I'm kinda freaking out that im a failing adult just from social standpoint. Im so fucking unpleasant to have around
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phagodyke · 1 month ago
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venting sorry... don't want to just delete it bc it helps to get it out just ignore this post pls 👍
haven't slept much at all and feeling so sick andstressed and in pain bc my period is due and so tired its making me dizzy but i cant sleep more or ill just feel more sick and I want a hug and to cry so hard into someones shoulder but no one cares or will even come near me it makes me feel diseased they think things about me that aren't true bc I struggle so much to communicate and thry all make assumptions insteqd and no one wants to give me space to talk to them about it so I cant undo that now and its all my fault and I'm so. exhausted :-(
#going to try and stay awake until lunch at least and yhen maybe ill take a nap. but i need to be able to sleep rpoperly tonight#at least i know im only feeling depressed bc my period is due which means my meds dont work how they should#like its kind of weird n psychologically interesting to feel so depressed again suddenly bc i havent been at all lately#well theres not much i can do abt feeling sick and in pain but ill take it easy. wasnt planning on leaving the house today anyway#and i do need to find a way to talk to ppl abt shit im struggling to communicate bc it really does bother me. and i dont want to do this#im tired of keeping everything in and wound so tightly i just want to feel seen and safe around someone please. please 🥹#its all well n good getting along with people better than i rver havebut if they still wont support me when im going through it#then it fades into shallowness like our friendship still has value. but im unable to feel close to them or safe around them#and right now im glad im doing so well im glad of so manynthings but its so scary to know that if i start doing bad again there is#noone and nothing there to catch me i dont have anything in the way of a safety net just myself. so better not fall 👍#and irs been makinf me feel so horrible lately bc my mum has been trying to emotionally drpend on me again and its making me feel like#when i was a teenager again and i was fighting for my fucking life against what i didnt know was mental illness and i had no outlet and#nowhere to go and i wanted to die so badly and meanwhile everyone around me was completely unaware and making me handle all of their#emotional issues and i was trapped there absorbing everyone elses damage and not being able to express mine and thankfully i didnt kill#myself and i got out and ive gotten so much bettee and worse and better sinxe and how i feel now is nothing like that really but im just#being reminded of it a lot and how hard expressing myself is and sometimes it feels like ive made so little progress#in thetorture labyrinth out here. but i dont want to do this forever i need to get better at expressing i just need people to support me#but i feel unsupported its like thin ice. but its alsonmy fault for not trusting. i dontnknowwwww.#maybe when i dont have to pay for private meds anymore and when i get this raise at the end of the year ill try therapy again#i dont think itll solve the issue bc its the ppl i care abt in my life that i need to be able to talk to. but maybe i can get some#better tools to help me be able to do that. i dontnknow i dont want to think about it anymore actually im going to go do smth else#sorry for venting its been a really nice weekend genuinely feeljng so good in general atm. and yeah i still struggle with the same things#but generally ive been handling their effect on my mental health so much better!!!! like im still feeling okay regardless of them#but they are still there and i will need to go from tolerating them to dissolvjng them at some point if i want to feel okay long term#it doesnt have to be like this. and i do actually truly believe that for once which rly is a sign of how much prpgress ive made!!!!#working on my shit is a fucking lifelong project....as im sure it is for everyone else too. all of our first time on planet earth#we will get through yhis. and anyway how i feel now is super temporary jsut triggered by a few thingsand ill keep reacting to them this#way until i managr to properly resolve them properly instead of folding them nicely and tucking them out of view#bleugh. okay yeah thats enough for now. meds softening the edges too ive stopped crying which is smth#chilling for a bit n then im going to watch some tv or a movie and iron and polish my boots and after lunch i might draw. or not we'll see
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steampoweredskeleton · 2 months ago
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Ignore
#delete later#its always fascinating when i get distressed eniugh for my brain to switch off all wants and cares#like i know i care bc i am anxious. but 90% of my emotional capacity is currently non accessible and i am running on pure autopilot#its also nice to see that my autopilot has responded to the amount of work i put into it. it includes physio exercises and meals#and some self care. turns out hsving a crisis plan embedded into your brain is a good thing#sure im the most suicidal ive been in a long time but im also the most functional ive ever been and i have things to do#so everything else can wait until i have the enrgy to sort through it#ive been setting things up for more viewings and pestering ppl for things i need and taking care of ny piercing#as the stress has caused a lot of irritation and swelling so it needs extra care. i even showered today.#go me. its wild what some mental stability does. when it gives way im gonna have an interesting couple weeks but shit will be externally#more stable then so the usual things will help#it is making personal relationships more difficult though. the poor person ive been talking seriously to is flirting and i am#currently not able to access any form of romantic interest or care. previously i would have ghosted but im trying to be better#ny new friend is also getting less than i should be giving her. but i send her cute fox pictures abd that helps.#we shall see how it goes. im lying down a lot and that is helpful. my brain being like this requires a LOT of energy and i cant sleep#so its all a lot. but ill be fine#im very good at being fine with all of this. ahd much better about coming out the other side safely
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nomairuins · 3 months ago
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also my sleepings getting bad again and ik its my fault for just..not being able to fall asleep. but i do hate it yeah
#and its right when ive decided i want to start tacking on my tooth routine to my cat taking care of routine#but the issue of course is that i usually stay up a bit past 10pm when i feed the cats#and currently ivebeen sleeping at 3-4am waking up at 7am from being cold being miserable until 10 feeding the cats passing out and waking u#at 1. which i hate . a lot#idk. i suppose i should wait to add teeth onto my routine until i get the litter fully incorporated#i try to do it once a day thats the goal but sometimes i get rly bad and i start doing my piece of shit Next time ill do it . im too tired#this morning ill do it tonight. well im watching a show with mother so ill do it in the morning. type thing#but i need 2 work on that bc i want 2 be better....#ig i just need to decide what time of day ill do that bc like#i was scooping it twice a day but there r 3 litterboxes and it took me a while nd often there wouldnt even be like. much 2 scoop#so idk. but i feel guilty for not scooping it as much asim supposed to even tho its being scooped more than it ever has been bc historicall#it just. wasnt. bc. etc#but im trying to be better abt it i am i am i am.#but ya. so currently im able to force myself to get up around 10-1030 (i have alarms set for 10 1015 1030 and 1045) to feed the cats#but its always So insanely bright bc their room is like. all windowd#and it hurts my eyes a Lot esp bc my sleep has been so bad#so i usually rush myself and then get back to safe dark room asap. without brushing my teeth bc of the tired
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anundyingfidelity · 8 months ago
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I'M A RUIN — Soldier Boy/Ben (Part VI)
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Series summary: After the events of the Seven Tower, you present Grace Mallory a new secret project you're working on already to develop a cure to Compound V. The only problem? You need Soldier Boy for that.
Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x female reader.
Word count: 2.5k.
Warnings for series: set after S3 (spoilers), some OOC!Ben, some depressed!Ben, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual smut, slow-burn, language, PTSD, reader has Compound V (she's no Vought supe tho), Soldier Boy being an usual asshole, reader is a fucking liar.
Warnings on this chapter: some suicide thoughts, very suggestive stuff, nudity, sexual tension barely starting, misogyny coming from you know who lol.
Notes: i was eager to drop this so here it is. hope i can make justice to the slow burn/slow sexual tension. aaaa as always thanks for reading!! ily all!
this fic tags: @k-slla @syrma-sensei @mostlymarvelgirl @cheynovak @drasticemotions @soldirboy @deans-spinster-witch
☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !
get yourself in the taglist!
Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | | Part VIII
GEN MASTERLIST! — SERIES MASTERLIST!
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Part VI: Don't Lay Your Red Hand On Me
“Where the fuck are we going?” Ben asked, checking the picture outside the windshield.
The sun was already setting down, and there have been hours since you started driving. At least he had been able to see the damn sunset again after being caged for so long.
Despite his questioning look and not trusting you completely, both made it to your car in the middle of the mess of blood and headless corpses around the building, with him naked under the effects of your invisibility powers. Somehow, you still managed to reassure Soldier Boy it was to protect him. In fact, as you guided both out of the place, you were scared of your abilities not working properly to have him covered. The last thing you wanted was the cameras to have a look at him, escaping with your help.
Now, with Soldier Boy dressed in his clothes and you still wiping some of the dry blood from your skin, you drove without a destiny in mind. Just somewhere you could take him far away from Homelander and Vought. He was, in fact, your top priority and needed to be protected, even if you knew you were nothing compared to his strength and abilities, you still had the urgency of him trusting you, to feel like you really cared. And you did care, but for the wrong reasons and those, he didn’t have to know.
“Far away,” you responded, picking up your phone with one hand as you drove through the highway.
“That doesn’t tell me anything,” he insisted, looking at you switching your attention between the device in your hands and the road.
You dialed Grace, ignoring his voice. She didn’t answer immediately. You cursed under your breath and dialed again. No answer anew, just the ring and the automatic voicemail message. Well, fuck. You had to play with what you had.
“Hey, it’s me,” you began the message. “Please call me when you can, I have to inform you of something. It’s urgent, please call me back.”
Ben rolled his eyes, annoyed as fuck for your silence towards his demands. “You’re gonna tell me now what the fuck is going on? You’re a fucking supe and everyone is dead back there! And not ‘cause of me.”
“First, nothing to fear from me. Okay? You’re the one who’d kill me in a blink. Second, I don’t know!” you yelled as a response, clearly irritated. “I don’t know shit! I know we need to run and that’s all. So just shut up and let me drive.”
“Christ on a cross, you women are fucking irritating,” Ben fumed. He saw a cheap motel by the road and he would’ve guessed you were going there because you slowed down and pulled up in the parking lot. He sighed. “Home, shitty home.”
“Got any ideas? Because I’m all ears,” you stopped the engine and got down the car, taking the sports bag with you. The supe rolled his eyes and before he went out, you came right to his half open door. “Stay here, I'll check in.”
Ben shut his eyes, watching you closing the car door with a loud thud, and you left to get a room. He felt the need to storm behind and shout out what he really thought of your stupid ass bossing him around. If it wasn’t because he wasn’t really half the way out of the fucking car, he should have been arguing and insisting for some real answers. But for some reason he stayed back. When you came back after a short time he followed you to a double bed room you’d be using just for the night.
Once you entered, you decided a shower was first thing on the list, and then you had to communicate with Grace as soon as fucking possible. Checking around, you were thankful to find a couple of towels in the bathroom, while Ben settled on his own space, lying down on one of the beds.
He observed you thoroughly as you studied yourself in the dirty mirror hanging on the wall. The disgusting grimace you made told him you were looking for more blood to wipe off. And before he could speak again you turned to see him.
“I'm gonna take a shower,” you announced.
He raised a brow. “Mind some company, sweetheart?”
You rolled your eyes as you started to unbutton your blouse, his eyes checking shamelessly the little exposed skin didn’t go unnoticed by you. “Don't even think about it.”
And with that, you just disappeared inside the bathroom. The noise of water running compensated both of you for the silence. He turned on the cheap TV to have some noise for himself too, deciding he’d go for a shower after you. Probably if he was in a different mood would have just tried to get in your pants. Ben was getting so damn stressed out. First you took out his weed, then you announced he would have medication for his fucking stress disorder or some shit, and later, agents and employees of the facility just started to die violently without reason. He thought if any of you would be next while you walked him out.
It was too much to handle right now. He needed something to take it all out. Something, anything, somebody. Just to release it the only way he knew: with sexual pleasure. He didn't understand yet what the fuck was happening. Did you really care about him? You could just have left him there to handle everything by himself and run away. Yet, you took him out of the facility and he, once again, had a glimpse of your courage. Maybe a little. And he started to like that. Suddenly, he heard the shower being turned off and minutes later you came out of the bathroom sooner than he expected, dressed in the same clothing, drying the droplets on your face and wet hair.
“I’m gonna get some dinner, stay here” you announced, taking your phone and the room and car keys. “The door will be locked, don’t do anything stupid.”
Ben scoffed, standing up before making his way to take a shower himself. He faced you directly, just a couple of inches separating both of you. Your gaze challenged him to step closer. “I’m not a fucking animal.”
You hummed, without looking away from his eyes. “Sometimes I doubt you.”
“Locking the fucking door won’t do shit, why you keep doing this?” Ben asked, visible confusion on his features. He really looked tired as hell. Tired of your bullshit.
“It’s not because of you. I perfectly understand that, just wait for me here.”
With that, you turned on your heels and left the room. From the other side, you locked the door. Ben let out a deep breath. He knew it was easy to tear it apart, and again, run after you to have damn answers for once. But instead, he decided to calm himself a little and get rid of his clothes. Inside the shower, he let the warm water take care of the burdens he was carrying, without knowing, on his back. He wondered if he’d been better dead by now, if sleeping in a chamber was a greater choice than this, just running along with you, a woman, who just seemed to fuck him up even more instead of playing real like you had promised. If he knew how to kill himself, probably would’ve done it already. He was getting sick of hiding, of being a fucking experiment, to be under someone’s else’s orders… The worst part of it all is that he never had the right to choose on his own faith. Not even his own death.
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Out of the room, you were a few feet away from the door you left behind when your phone started to ring softly. An unknown number appeared on the screen and cautiously you answered, making your way to the car, getting inside on the co-pilot seat.
“Hello?” a voice you knew too well started to speak after some seconds of silence.
“Grace?”
The woman on the other line breathed out. “Yeah, it’s me. Uhm, couldn’t attend earlier, sorry…”
“It’s okay,” you shook your head, as if she could see you face to face. “We’ve been compromised. My lab assistants, the nurses, scientists, guards… Everyone is dead.”
“Fuck,” Grace hissed. She sounded exhausted. “Where is Soldier Boy?”
“I took him out, checked us in at a motel. Can’t go back to my old place. Not yet.”
“You have the copies of the project, right?”
For a moment you felt she was doubting you, but you answered anyway, surprised she would even ask that. “I do.”
There was a little silence coming from her. You continued. “I don’t think I told you yet, but… Fuck, I received a visit from Homelander a couple of days ago. He crashed into my apartment… He knows.”
Grace cursed under her breath. “Y/N, we’re playing with fire here.”
You swallowed thickly, feeling your heartbeat raising. “What’s going on with you? Something happened back there?”
“Victoria Neuman came, saying she wanted to talk to me. She kinda threatened my life, and I’m on the run… Now I can make the puzzle.”
“You think they might be working together?”
“Probably. Senator Bishop was found dead, and guess who is running now with Robert Singer for vice president.”
You chuckled. The whole situation was so ironically clear. “Victoria, that stupid, smart bitch.”
“I’m gonna get some information on her, I know some people who’d know more than I do. I’ll call once I find something.”
“Okay, I’ll wait for that. Do you need me to do anything?”
“Just keep Soldier Boy busy. Work on that injection as soon as you can,” she ordered.
You nodded to yourself, taking a look around the empty lot. “Yes, ma’am.”
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After a somewhat long time, Ben saw you entering the room and locking the door. You left a paper bag and water on the nightstand by his bed, where he laid down like he was having a nice day on the beach with only a towel around his hips. He noticed you looked down at him a little longer than usual, but he wasn’t going to let that slip. A sleazy smirk formed on his lips.
“My eyes are up here, sugar.”
You turned away your gaze for a moment before looking back up at him again, confident this time as you locked up your eyes with his half-lidded ones.
“Stop the pet names, Soldier Boy.”
Ben stood up on his feet slowly under your eyes following his moves. His muscular frame towering over your figure as the towel fell to the floor, revealing his bare figure to you. He was growing fond of the way you didn’t step back, ever, from him.
“Well, you never complained back there. Speaking of,” he took the bottle of water between his hands and took a sip from it before his green orbs focused on you anew. “I think you owe me an explanation.”
“I already told you. I don’t know shit.”
“Fucking lies,” the supe hissed. “Tell me now.”
You shrugged and crossed your arms on your chest, tired of him. “I have nothing.”
“Sweetheart, you never shut your piehole during our sessions. Don’t back up now,” he dared, stepping closer to you, eyelids narrowing.
Neither Ben or you dared to look away. You had to act like it, for your good. What if Soldier Boy found out that probably Homelander was behind all of it? It was going to be the end of him, his son; the fucking abusive experiment would be gone with a blast. But Vought was still around. It wasn’t just about Homelander or personal payback. It was more than that.
Homelander was barely the tip of the iceberg. And you were afraid Ben would never understand the mission. Would he say yes to use his blood to create even more experiments after all he went through, even if you explained everything? You knew his answer. The next step was getting it from him and it was going to be the hardest thing ever. But you could think of that later. There was nothing that a small cut accident couldn’t do.
“I’m not talking because I have nothing to tell you, Ben,” you lied, looking at him with your brows knitting together. “I wish I knew, but I’m just as scared as you might be.”
“I’m not scared,” he replied a little too fast. “I want to know why you took me out.”
“Why not?” you insisted. “You deserve another chance.”
And I need you alive to find a cure to this curse.
Ben scrutinized your face. This time, he couldn’t read through you. What did he know though, was that he was tired. A burning ache was forming inside him once again and he needed to release it. He was used to sensing your heartbeats, the blood running on your veins, and still now there was no glimpse of you reacting to his teasing. Any other woman would have thrown herself at him, he was used to it. Now, there wasn’t anyone. Just you, paying no attention to his perfectly sculpted body and his cock between his legs. It had to be the fact that you were a supe. Not as powerful, but still. A clear advantage in the cursed world you all lived in. He took in your body, thinking into luring you to give in and imagining how it would be to have you crying under him, moaning his name exactly like numerous women have. Just for the night.
“Don’t think about it, Soldier Boy,” you voiced out, like if you read his nasty mind. “I’m not gonna do that.”
His eyes went back to your face. “Y’know, I used to have lines of women like you during my days. Countless lines of rich whores, waiting to have a good fuck with me. Pretty ladies whose husbands would leave unattended, cute little secretaries, bombshell Hollywood actresses… All of them, just wet holes ready for me. I’d take them all.”
You chuckled at his pathetic little speech. If that was his way of getting you to bed, it wasn’t working. Not now, not never.
“I’m not just any rich whore, Ben. I don’t want to fuck you, you can use the bathroom to take care of your little problem down there.”
You saw how his jaw clenched as he held his eyes with yours.
He smirked. “Maybe not today, pretty thing. But you’ll see.”
“Be my guest.”
Ben turned around, giving you a clear view of his ass as he locked himself inside the bathroom. The sound of the shower running was not enough to cover his moans and grunts as he jerked himself off. You just decided to sleep. There was a long drive waiting for you in the morning.
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Oooh I'm in a whumpy Ed mood today (cw for medical racism and transphobia here btw)
So Ed's always had a really rocky relationship with medical care, as tends to happen when you're a brown trans guy, but he and Stede have really been working on it. Stede always goes with him to their check-ups, and slowly Ed's been starting to build up better relationships with his doctors. And one day, when he realizes the pain in his bad knee is just getting very very bad, and he texts Stede that he's worried he won't even be able to finish work, and Stede suggests that Ed go to the urgent care...he does.
And Ed has accidentally allowed himself to expect doctors to treat him like a human being, so he's a bit blindsided when the urgent care is shitty from the start. When they're confused about his surgical history and he explains he's trans, they insist on making him take a pregnancy test even though he's had a hyso, and he just goes along with it because it seems easier. When the doctor comes in, they immediately start accusing him of exagerrating his symptoms, and Ed realizes that they think he's just drug-seeking. He tries explaining that he's already on strong non-opiod painkillers for his knee, and he has a family history of drug abuse and it kinda scares him so even if they prescribed him opiods he'd push back on that, but they keep making Ed feel like a criminal for wanting help when he's in pain.
It's scary and it's humiliating and awful, and Ed's so upset he just wants out of there. He's having a hard time sitting on the hard uncomfortable chairs, and the lights are so bright, and no one there is treating him like he's an actual person.
Stede, who rushed out of work to come be with him, pulls up to see Ed just sitting on the curb waiting for him. Ed's obviously not alright, but he keeps saying over and over that they gave him a steroid shot in his knee so it's all better now. Ed's still so freaked out that he's just terrified no one would believe him if he says what happened, since he's just had so many people insisting that he's making shit up, and even if Stede did believe him, it would be a whole thing, and Ed's just too tired and in too much pain to want to go through that right now. Stede tries to get more information, but Ed's just not biting, and he keeps insisting that he's fine.
And the next day, Ed has a bad fall at work. Fang calls Stede in a panic, and poor Ed is teary-eyed and having to gasp for breath because the pain is just so bad. Stede comes to pick him up and they rush him to his regular doctor, who's absolutely horrified by the state of his knee. She's spitting mad that the urgent care didn't send him straight to the ER, and Stede's just getting very quiet, and Ed's freaking out.
The good news is his doctor thinks Ed's just got a buildup of scar tissue putting a lot of pressure on the joint and causing his pain, and all he needs is an athroscopic debridement of the tissue. She promises him it barely even counts as a surgery because it's so quick and simple, and she can fit him in today. Ed's visibly on the verge of a panic attack, so they start him on an IV for some anti-anxiety meds, and get his knee under local anesthetic. He doesn't even need to go to an OR, all it is is just a few little cuts around his knee for a camera and the debriding tool, and Stede can hold his hand the whole time. He'll have a couple tiny scars on his knee and he'll need to wear a stiff brace for a couple weeks, but that's it. It's already feeling better by the time the local anesthetic starts wearing off.
Ed's sent home with a special stiff brace to keep his leg straight, instructions to rest, and an appointment to get his stitches removed in a week. He feels like shit, and Stede's just being really quiet, and eventually he can't take it anymore.
"I'm really sorry," Ed mumbles as Stede gets him set up on the couch with a new cross-stitch project to keep his hands and mind busy.
"Oh, sweet pea," Stede sighs, sitting down next to him so carefully and holding an arm open for Ed to tuck up into his side, "you don't have anything to be sorry for. I just wish I knew why you lied to me."
So Ed tells him all about how they treated him at the urgent care, and just as he'd expected, Stede goes apeshit about it. The bad news is that Ed's gone two steps back with his ability to handle being in medical settings without freaking out, but he's got a good doctor and Stede to help him. The good news is Stede is going to sue the absolute shit out of the urgent care clinic and they're going to use the money to take a vacation to the Bermuda Triangle (Stede just wants to see what it's like there).
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amourtoken · 4 months ago
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hi so this may be VERH tmi but like :( ive literally never ever been able to actually get off and its making me think of nicky or matt with an inexperienced reader :((((( helpin them get off and taking care of them andndjwnejenrne
I fucking love this and I was in your boat for YEARS so I entirely understand. I didn't realize I could even get off in the first place and thought the whole climax thing was just bs or that there was something wrong with me honestly 😭 I'm 21 now and didn't actually finish for the first time until i was like 18ish if that makes you feel better. I didn't understand my anatomy at all and every guy I'd been with till I met my bf didn't either so it was just a lot of missed opportunity.
Also: adding a cut bc this is LONGGGGG
I feel like explaining you've never gotten off to either of these guys would be like flipping a switch in their brain. Wdym you've never gotten off??? They'd make it a whole ordeal to change that.
Nicky would be "softer" about it, and I put that in quotes bc he's by no means a softie lmao he's a closet freak that just hides it well until the right moment. He's gonna take such good care of you :((
Nicky spends damn near a whole hour on foreplay itself, there's not an inch of your body that goes untouched. He wants you so needy you're shaking underneath him before he even touches you where you really need it. He'd kiss up and down your thighs and his fingers would dig into your hips a bit to drag you closer to his face so he can bury it in your pussy. He'll spend hours here if you let him he doesn't mind, he drags your hands up to his hair so you can pull him around however you need too cause he knows what he's doing but your input is important.
Honestly, he doesn't even care if he gets to cum tonight at all, he's doing this all for you. If eating you out isn't enough he'll work his fingers into you at the same time or offer to use a couple toys if that's better. He just wants you to feel good and he'll do anything to get there. Nicky only stops when he has another idea and that's to fuck you with a vibrator pressed right against your clit. He'd hand it to you so you could control the speed and pressure while he focused on fucking himself into you. If you can't seem to get it right he's more than happy to do it for you again and if the vibrator just isn't your thing dw babe he'll use his fingers.
The whole time he's talking you through it and praising you for doing such a good job for him. Once he can tell you're actually getting close he's practically high on it. He tries his best to not change his pace so you can ride out the feeling as long as you'd like but God once he feels you cumming around his cock he's rutting into you like a fucking animal and can't help himself.
"Fuck baby, that's it- shit- you're doing so good for me, it's okay- you're okay, feels good doesn't it?"
Matt on the other hand is an entirely different creature and when he hears you've never cum before he doesn't have the same "patience" Nicky does. He's more than happy to help you get off, but where Nicky spends hours bringing you to the edge, Matt is dragging you to it by your throat and forcing you off.
Matt wants you all fuzzy brained and subspaced for him during this whole thing cause he's gonna be taking care of you, you don't need to do any thinking. All you need to remember is his name.
I could for sure see him dragging you onto his lap in front of a big floor length mirror so he can show you everything he's doing. Your legs are spread on either side of his and he has one of those app controlled vibrators inside you (only taking it out when he wants to fill you up with his cock instead). The idea of watching yourself get off is embarrassing but fuck you're so wet it doesn't really matter at this point, Matt's fingers feel too good to worry about anything else. He has one hand spreading you wide and the other is switching from fingering you and scissoring you open to rubbing your clit and spreading your wetness around. His legs are keeping yours open even when yours squeeze against his and threaten to close.
You're literally dripping down his hand and wrist by the time he decides to fuck you, and he's not changing his stance from earlier, you're still in front of the mirror. He still ends up doing all the work and he's more than happy to though, picking you up and slamming you down on his cock until you were whimpering and crying. Your shoulder and neck are totally littered with bite marks and hickeys from him as well.
When he can tell you're getting close to that edge he hilts himself entirely inside you and wraps a hand around your throat to keep you steady while the other one abuses your clit. Youre twitching in his hold and nearly sobbing by this point cause it feels like an electric current is running under your skin until that coil in your belly unwinds and you yelp and cry in his arms while you cum around his dick. His pace slows on your clit but doesn't stop, he's trying to draw it out as much as he can for you before he lifts you off his cock to change positions.
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judasgot-it · 1 year ago
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I’m in love with your writing like omg🩷could i request what kind of lovers are Dazai, tecchou and Nikolai?
(english is not my mother tongue so i dont mean cheat btw…)
IVE BEEN WANTING TO GET TO THIS ASK FOR A WHILE BUT I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK AND AAAAAA
I have SO many headcannons about these fools oh lord. Also hoping I got what you meant cuz I won't lie I am a bit SILLY.
Headcannons: what kind of lovers are they? Dazai, Tecchou, Nikolai
Dazai
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He sees his own misery inside of you, which he thinks is romantic. He thinks its beautiful that the two of you can understand each other's suffering in a way no one else can.
I don't think I need to state that while this is romantic in a literary sense, it's a major red flag
Dude would 100% want to do things that he thinks are "romantic" for couples to do together.
For example - murder-suicide, robbing stores together, double-suicide, arson, planning each other's funerals-
Man has a sick sense of romance and death
But he can be romantic!! Sometimes.
Despite being young he knows how to actually take care of his lover - at least in technicality
What he really enjoys, however, he has to suppress
That cold cold sick heart of his wants to isolate them, keep them away from everyone - but he knows that isn't really a human thing to do
So the type of lover he really is the kind of guy who can really only bond over either sex or when you're drunk/sad over the past
dude wouldn't even be able to have sex without crying or would have to do it in the dark, like he just gets too emotional and insecure
100% obsesses over your own trauma and will take any time he can to talk about it - but never his own
sorry dude has red flags ALL over in my mind, I just don't think he would do happy stuff because he would think it's very fake
He can't enjoy any happy occasion, especially dates
definitely thinks weed, deftones, and sex is a good date
Don't date this man if you try to break up with him he will come to your doorstep whimpering and crying telling you that he's gonna kill himself and that you're the only one for him even though he cheated on you
he just strikes me as a messy kind of person
Tecchou
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Wants to be your hero. He knows your strong - but he wants to be strong for you. You deserve to be protected from the dangers of the world.
He believes in justice and is a MASSIVE dweeb for "playing the hero"
Man has good intentions that are EXTREME
So yea, he is a bit of an extreme lover
If he can, he'll protect you from anything. It's just his thing
He will try to eradicate all of your fears. Scared of the dark? Your house is brighter than the sun. Scared of bugs? sad, but he will chase them away.
Does this mean he's good at romance? Not really. He'll do anything you tell him too though
Literally anything. Almost. He wouldn't kill someone, but yea that man would 100% try a lot of weird and freaky shit.
would also not care if you weren't into sex. pretty sure that if he likes someone he is just LOYAL lol
although tbh he doesn't strike me as the horny type he just is too dedicated to his job like I'd give it 20/80
idk if he's a freak either like he's probably seen some weird nasty shit so he either is the most vanilla man to walk this earth or is into some weird ass shit.
(I bet it's cake sitting or some food shit. He and Ranpo are too similar, they would both be into weird food shit)
ANYWAY Tecchou is one of those guys who would do cute shit like open the door for his partner everywhere and hold their bags
It's very sweet. Bro 100% lifts.
probably calls while at work which is terrifying and horrible cause you'll hear gunfire but he'll pretend it's normal
Man is also technically property of the state so just know that if you're in a relationship with him you will always have someone stalking you, as you are now a threat to national security
but it's worth it for Tecchou <3
also, he has a huge bank account I bet but would buy either useless gifts or upgrade everything his partner owns cuz he probably only wears his military uniforms and compression shirts.
What's he gonna spend his money on, really?
Nikolai
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The world is cruel and predictable, especially with people like him. He hates someone having control over him, so he would only love someone if he chose to - which is fickle at best.
AHHHH omg he's so hard to pin down because Nikolai 100% would be the worst person to have as a lover (jk)
Hot and Cold by Katy Perry esq
Like, 100% if he loves them he LOVES them but if he hates them? he HATES them
but I don't think he really changes his emotions that much, he's sensitive but not so drastically
Definitely is an interesting person to love - would do crazy and weird shit for his lover
doesn't do normal dates. he's a magician, everything is a trick with him
probably gives riddles and doesn't wait for them to be solved - they just lead up to silly dates or gifts. The gifts are probably tame like a drink they like or like, flowers. Maybe some random fingers if he saw that a server was rude.
Does the bottle up his ass trick a lot. or says "do you like magic in bed?" and then never pulls his pants down he just shows every single magic trick he knows.
Listen. that man is WAITING for an audience he will take any chance he can. He'll even pull out some tricks while in the middle of doing it. Let him show you his magic tricks, he practices very hard on some of them.
ranking him as the type to be an exhibitionist and a bit of a freak - how much? idk but he has his coat so who knows what kind of stuff he has on him.
also don't get into a philosophical convo with him this guy will start to talk all sorts of crazy
or political
unless ofc there's common ground then CONGRATS
also I feel like he would be a gentleman. Would probably bring his lover flowers and shit.
once brought oranges though. never explained why.
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sorry about the NSFW but I needed the giggles. I did in fact giggle
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its-all-papaya · 4 months ago
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wait i have to add: "I'll write that injury landoscar for you down the road as an apology" NO IT WAS PERFECT THANK YOU !!! but i won't say no to injury landoscar so if you want to write it 👀 (i would be happy!) that's an ask i'd like for the I wish you would write a fic where... ask game tbh!
maybe like. one of them hears that the other crashed or sees it happen and finishes the race on autopilot, frantically asking if the other is okay over the radio and not getting a straight answer (like ferrari: we are checking) and after the race not giving a SHIT, running directly to where he's told by someone the other is although maybe having a podium finish? or media duties?, ignoring everyone on the way there and then seeing they're alright and just. taking the biggest breath ever known. and being overwhelmed? and then just. kissing him in front of the medics? idk. but! it could also be soft, finding the other after all the media duties and after the other was cleared for visitors and they're sitting there under shitty hospital lighting, one of them cracking jokes about being not life-threateningly injured and the other just shaking because he could've LOST him and it all suddenly shifts and makes sense in his head and there's never been a world in which losing the other wouldn't break him. and then it's the most important thing in the world to be able to taste the breath in the other person's lungs and feel his heartbeat quicken and have PROOF that he's alive and warm and not dead. is this too much? probably. but i'm DYING to hear your thoughts on how YOU would write it PLEASE!!
Okay, yeah, Landoscar injury fic lfg, let's do this. Here's how I'd do it:
The thing about me is I always have to have An Angle. I can't write straight-up fluffy comfort, I've gotta make the characters THINK first. So this is kind of not the exact same as your description, but I think I'd write it from the POV of injured Oscar. Hear me out, hang on.
tell me what you wish I'd write
So Oscar gets hurts in a crash and he's sent to the hospital, obviously. The whole way out of the car and on the way, he's like... not panicking, but not feeling well at all. Nothing makes rational sense in an ambulance, everything feels high-stakes and scary and serious and the shock is still setting in, so he can't process that well. Oscar obviously isn't very open about how he's feeling, usually, either, so being noticeably affected by things is just more stress on top as he fights to keep the cool, calm demeanor people expect out of him.
See, generally, Oscar tries not to need too much from anybody. But he's hurt and a little scared and lonely and the lingering shock combined with whatever's in his IV drip is making his emotions stronger and closer and not anywhere near as manageable as normal. Kim is there, but Oscar wants Lando telling him jokes and giving him soft eyes and holding his hand and telling him it's going to be okay, because Lando always knows how to handle new situations Oscar hasn't been in yet. And Oscar's trying so so hard to be normal about it all, but he's actually Not Okay.
I wasn't around for Vegas '23 (ironic because I was accidentally in Vegas hours after the GP, but I didn't follow F1 yet, so) but I've read a lot of post-vegas fic and it's all cute and needy Lando, which is a great genre. But I think I'd set that as Oscar's mental backdrop for this. Because they weren't even them yet in Vegas, weren't like they are now, and even still Lando asked for Oscar in the hospital and had no problem reeling him in by the hand and taking comfort from him when he needed it. And they're much closer now! Lando definitely cares a lot about him! Oscar knows that! So why is he so nervous to just ask for him?
Oscar would spend a decent amount of time trying to figure out how to ask Kim to get Lando there: thinking up excuses for why he needs Lando for something specific, reasons it makes sense, or why it might benefit everyone, but when he finally gets up the nerve to just ask, Kim is like "?? yes? Lol. Obviously Lando is coming. He's been asking about you nonstop, drove both Will and his press officer up a wall asking for updates every five seconds. He's texted me 400 times in the last 20 minutes. Lando is for sure coming, you actually don't really get a say in that one. Silly goose."
Oscar is usually so unbothered, but as soon as Lando shows up, he knows it's going to be a struggle not to lose it, because like... Lando's in the door looking adorable and concerned and Oscar NEEDS Lando so much closer. Immediately. He needs Lando holding his hand and petting his hair and whispering to him even though they don't even really do those things normally.
And Lando's worried, so he gets to Oscar's bedside and is restless. Hand on the covers, eyebrows pulled together, trying to straighten things and fluff pillows and asking about Oscar's pain levels and where he's hurt and eventually he just goes "Fuck, Oscar, can I just- I need to hug you. Please. Is that okay?"
Lando's so gentle with it, trying not to hurt his boy, but Oscar like... cannot hold it together. And so he starts breathing a little funny in his effort not to cry or do anything to show how everything is hitting at once, how he wants Lando, but Lando of course notices that something is wrong. Probably assumes he's hurting Oscar, so he pulls back, but that's the opposite of what Oscar wants. So suddenly, horrifyingly, he's tearing up, and that makes Lando panic more because he's probably never seen Oscar cry. Didn't think that was a thing Oscar did. And Oscar's shaking his head, and his heart rate monitor does not sound normal, and Lando's like "...shit. Fuck. Do you need me to call the nurse?" and Oscar is like "no, just come back. please, lando."
Lando goes, obviously, sits on the side of Oscar's bed and picks up Oscar's hand in both of his own and starts rubbing his wrist a little and saying "hey, it's okay, buddy, I've got you, I'm right here. Deep breaths, you're gonna be okay, I'm not going anywhere."
It should feel patronizing, being talked to like that, but instead it takes the anxiety back down a few notches, outside the range of imminent panic. Oscar feels like a little child again, needing to be held after scraping his knee, but he does. Need to be held, that is. So he's fighting this internal battle between needing comfort and wanting to be good and normal about the situation, and his control is softened by his pain meds so he can't school his expressions as well as normal, and soon Lando’s asking “What is it? You need more pain meds? Kim? What do you need, Osc?”
SNIPPET TIME CONGRATS !
Oscar can’t look at Lando when he says it, but he finally manages to mumble “can you come lay with me?” at the ceiling. Lando doesn't spare him a moment to second-guess before he's kicking off his shoes and climbing up, arranging Oscar's limbs a little so they’ll both fit. His arm’s around Oscar’s shoulders in a blink, and everything’s a little less overwhelming when Oscar can turn his chin just a little and smell Lando’s body wash, can twitch his fingers and touch the soft hem of Lando’s sweatshirt. Reality gets a little more tangible again, and Oscar thinks it's funny, how he feels a fraction more himself when he's pressed to Lando's side.
The beep of the heart-rate monitor fades back into ambient noise as it settles towards normal. Or normal for them, Oscar supposes. In the middle of his contemplating, Lando starts tracing the vein on the soft side of Oscar's arm, wrist to the crook of his elbow. Two fingers, one on either side, raising goosebumps across the exposed skin. The disconnect the crash had rattled into Oscar's brain shifts a little under Lando's attention, gets a little floatier and a little less disorienting. He's getting sleepier, and it's probably the last of the IV bag dripping steadily through the back of his hand, but it's nicer to believe it's Lando, chasing the drugs up towards his heart with those same two fingers. Oscar gives up one more piece, a little more control, as he snuggles a little deeper into Lando's side. He's allowed to, he thinks. Here. Like this. Lando must agree, because he hums happily at the movement and hugs Oscar even closer. Through the fog in his brain, Oscar thinks he feels lips at his temple.
"Thank you," he mumbles into the collar of Lando's t-shirt.
"Of course," Lando says, and "thank you. It's nice. To lay like this. Was worried about you."
And then, after a long moment of silence, "It's okay to need things, Osc. From anybody, but especially from me. There's not a lot I wouldn't do for you. Okay? You can always ask."
Oscar frowns, because "I don't need anything, it's not like that." His forehead wrinkles as he bats the exhaustion back. The excuse is sitting at the tip of his tongue, but he can't quite feel it out.
Lando gives him a second, then takes over again. It's a reversal, Lando finding Oscar's words for him, thumbing worries away like sweaty hair from his temple.
"It's also okay to want things, Oscar."
Oscuh.
Oscar, feeling a little braver or maybe just a little less afraid, palms his way across Lando's stomach, curls his hand around Lando's side, taps his fingers against the warm space below Lando's ribs.
"What do you want, baby?" Lando asks into the skin above his ear.
Oscar lifts his head a little, blinks through his lashes up at his teammate. He's hallucinating, or the concussion is worse than they thought, because there's no way that those words are coming out of Lando's mouth in that tone with nobody to hear them but Oscar himself. Lando's fingers drag a bit firmer against his wrist, the catch of nails sending little shivers through Oscar's limbs.
Oscar remembers Las Vegas, remembers how the same fingernails had left little white half-moons in the back of his hand, how they had taken hours to fade, and he gets it, finally.
Lando's fingers come to rest in the middle of Oscar's wrist, right over his pulse.
"Stay? Please?" Oscar says. The lips on his temple are firmer this time, impossible to explain away. "Until I can go," he adds. Lando's still pressing little kisses down the side of his face, so Oscar sums up the rest of his courage and finishes with, "And tonight." He doesn't say forever, but it's only a breath away.
And then Lando takes him home and takes care of him and it's soft and cute and Lando falls asleep listening to Oscar's heartbeat and kisses him awake in the morning and makes sure he takes his pills and he heals up and they become boyfriends the end <3
Thank you for the ask !! And for the compliments in general !! Hope this was nice for you even though it was STILL not desperate. I'm too Soft (TM).
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thewebcomicsreview · 2 months ago
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Hamsteak? Again? God, everything happens so much, but at least we're done with Vriska. And I can copy and paste text again. Wowsers. Anyway we're out of hell and now we're with The Moms, in a suspiciously green-and-orange environment.
ROSE: This is an impressive shield. ROSE: I don't think I've ever seen you make one this size before. JADE: ive been practicing! JADE: if i stay focused i should be able to keep it up for quite a while.
Oh hey, starting us right off with Deepest Lore, as Jade can apparently make shields. We've never really seen her "natural" Witch of Space powers in the original comic, since she was using First Guardian powers the whole time (or no powers and just gadgets like the soothspecs, back before everyone became X-Men). I've been wondering what she could do au natural, and...apparently it's shields? Would not have called that, but sure.
JADE: between yiffys capture and rescue and finding dave... JADE: like that... JADE: i just feel like my life flashed before my eyes and it made me a little crazy! JADE: after being unconscious for a bit things feel way clearer now
It's still weird to me that Dave's "death" was so recent to the characters. That was in the epilogues! We made a sequel series since then! It got cancelled! Then it got revived! It was a long time!
JADE: after being unconscious for a bit things feel way clearer now ROSE: Nothing beats a rump to the skull for mental clarity. JADE: the mistakes we made are so obvious to me now JADE: embarrassingly obvious!
Being unconscious is Jade's natural state, so naturally it heals her. Also I detect a justification for a small change in Candy Jade's characterization here, like she'll be acting differently that she has been and this is the excuse. Lets stick a pin in that thought, though.
JADE: this whole situation is my fault and even though it just keeps getting more frustrating and shitty im going to do right by you JADE: were going to figure this out ROSE: Are you sure it's prudent to keep this amateur marriage counselor performance up? JADE: rose... JADE: youre taking this seriously JADE: right? ROSE: I don't know what you mean by that.
I really do like this characterization of Candy Rose, though (which is apparently also a slight retcon from the original plans, according to the writer commentaries). None of this is real, so she doesn't give a shit about any of it. Her mid-life crisis is worse than John's.
JADE: though playing stupid and cajoling her into slapping me around for catharsis wont work anymore JADE: well have to think of something else... ROSE: Jade, I've been compliant with these clumsy machinations partially because they weren't all that consequential at the time, but you need to cut your losses.
Oh we are hard retconning Candy Jade's personality here. She's not an emotional wreck at all, at least part of it is her clumsy attempt at being Machiavellian. Are they building up to changing Yiffy's backstory, far and away the least popular idea in HS2?
JADE: "ohhhh bluh bluh blah i can see the fruitlessness of all our clumsy insignificant thrashing in fates cosmic current" JADE: dont forget im more than a little versed in future sight myself ok JADE: i dont care how credible it seems, you cant depend on that information!
Opens Homestuck_2_Speculation.rtf.doc.xpf.bro
What information is this, Jade? Is it related to the visions Calliope had that let her build the machine? The only future sight Jade's ever had is the clouds of Skaia
JADE: "abloo hoo hoo, my life is a monkey paw, everything i want hurts me in the end" ROSE: It was a little pathetic. JADE: I KNOW!
Oh man, that's going back deep.
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This aspect of Jade, that deep down she's a bit of a wreck but she toughs it out because she hates her own weakness, hasn't really been focused on since Act 4 of the original comic when it got personified in Jadesprite. It's nice to see that aspect referenced again here. I liked Jade's speech justifying Yiffy's existence, it did a lot to make that plot point go down smoother, but I totally buy that Jade herself hated it. Kind of funny that we had six updates of Vriscourse and now I have way more to say about this one expository speech out of Best Girl, but Jade's actually a pretty complex character and her issues are so often glossed over as "Wow she had to live in isolation for three years after her brother and boyfriend randomly exploded and that's kind of sad I guess", so it's nice to spend some time inside her head like this.
JADE: the truth is whatever people WANT to believe JADE: you can either try forcing them to understand your side JADE: leave it completely in their hands and take no responsibility JADE: or you work with their wants and perspectives JADE: and make some informed compromises ROSE: Over the state of reality? JADE: rose i am begging you can you please cut it out with all the cryptic cosmic crap and come back down to earth???
One of my pet peeves of the epilogues is that Dave Strider turns into a Bernie Sanders supporter and keeps talking about "neoliberalism" despite living in a wacky future utopia planet and having never lived through the 2016 Democratic Primary that all his talking points were cribbed from, but we have an explanation for that now. It's his wife. Jade was the neoliberal all along.
JADE: thats whats scaring me! JADE: youre not prepared for how bad it can get JADE: you have no idea at all!!!!!!!!!!! ROSE: If you say so.
That was a joke but this is sounding a little suspiciously like voting discourse, but that might just be me being election-brained. God I'm so stressed, please vote for Harris if for no other reason to make Trump-analogue Jane Crocker feel dated and weird.
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Jade has no idea what she’s talking about. There’s not a thing to worry about here. You came out the womb playing defense
You didn't come out of a womb at all. You've never even been in one. Also holy shit this page is called Rose: Ramble and it's early-HS2 levels of Wall of Text, though I think you're actually intended to glaze over it a little.
It doesn’t really matter, in the long run. Important or not, Vriska’s going to fail. Jane’s going to fail, too; really, just about everyone is going to fail to do something that really matters. In an unsuccessful effort to stave off that failure, and perhaps to atone for it on some level, Calliope will sacrifice herself, fruitlessly. You’re not exempt from the firing squad, either. In the imminent battle, you are going to be shot in the head, the bullet burying deep into your moral grey matter and jamming up the works of your conditional immortality, leaving you confined to a hospital bed. You had to pull all kinds of ridiculous, eyebrow-raising Chaos Theory shit to figure that one out. The rat-tail was worth it, your daughter’s anguish aside.
It's generally considered bad writing to have a prophecy not come true, but I think this is bullshit and Rose's Seer of Light powers don't work in a land of pure void.
KANAYA: Those Two Will Not Be Joining Us On The Battlefield Either KARKAT: OH? KANAYA: I Know Such Decisions Are Well Above My Pay Grade And That The Critical Need To Win This Battle Far Outweighs My Marital Discomfort KANAYA: And Being Down Two Gods Isnt Exactly Ideal KANAYA: But... KANAYA: I Cant KANAYA: Sorry KARKAT: DON'T BE.
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KARKAT: FUCK ‘EM.
Man, Punished Karkat is cool.
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Man, I love how stupid Jane's death ray looks. It's a cake!
Your father never did voice any kind of opinion on your parenting style. In hindsight, he was probably avoiding the subject altogether.
It's hard to talk with your dad when he's not allowed to have any dialogue due to stylistic convention. I have that issue with my uncle.
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JAKE: Oh. JANE: chhhhhhhhlmm nnnn. JAKE: OH CRIPES! JAKE: I'M SORRY JANEY!!! JANE: kkkkkkkkaaaaaa?? JAKE: JUST- S-STAY STILL OK?
lmao. This is the absolutely best way this assassination attempt could've gone.
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This art is excellent.
Man, this was a great update, Jesus. So much shit is going on, and while HS2 and HS:BC have had good moments this is the first time in a long while I've really had that classic Homestuck feeling that made me fall in love with the comic in the first place.
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superscourge · 22 days ago
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how do you get people to take notice of your commissions? ive been at this for five or six years now and can count the number of comms ive gotten on one hand lmao
WELL this is always rly hard for me to answer bc it really depends on So Much Shit... 😭
like for one thing a lot of it is genuinely luck. like. luck in terms of who sees your work and wants to buy it at the same time mostly? BUT ALSO, this can be helped a bit by How you increase your reach--reach is very important if u wanna sell comms.
ive found what worked for me is drawing fanart, which i know feels like a cop-out to a lotta ppl but it honestly works! and by attracting attention with fanart ive been able to get more eyes on my work and increase the chances of getting a bite :]
another factor is unfortunately following, but that relates to ^ reach and attention on ur work so i dont feel like i need to rly dive into that again x'D
customer service is important too imo. like, how nice and pleasant and easy u are to work with :3 ive worked hard to be really approachable and easy to work with so i think this plays into things. i want ppl to wanna work with me again yknow? if the experience is pleasant then theyre more likely to return <3
one last thing is that like...hmm how do i word this. the appeal of ur art does matter to Some degree i think, but not as much as i think ppl assume? like ok. there are ppl with insanely detailed and intricate work that looks incredible like painterly masterpieces but they are Unable to get commissions bc of some other factor like lack of reach or something. then there are ppl with really simplistic art styles that may seem significantly "less quality" than the painterly masterpieces from the other person but they get commissions out the wazoo. so while i think you do have to have some level of appeal with your art, i dont think its the Only Thing that matters bc like i mentioned ppl dont always care abt how the art looks in terms of "quality" PLUS art is very subjective and one thing could look insanely good to one person but it looks like shit to someone else yknow? so i dont like to place a lot of emphasis on this.
in relation to ^ this, i think popularity matters to Some degree sometimes. i do know ppl who have kind of "lower-quality" (i hate saying that) work compared to others but still get an insane amt of comms bc theyre way more popular. ppl want to say they own a piece by this popular artist yknow? if that makes sense??? so just reiterating its not always about how the art looks, sometimes its other stuff in addition to it
uhhhhh gosh. i hope Any of this was helpful, like i said this is always an extremely difficult question for me to answer bc again things that work for me do not work for everyone because we make different things and are different people! i consider myself EXTREMELY lucky to be able to get the amount of comms i do (i do this for a living; commissions are my Only income which is why i put so much emphasis on them) and i know a lot of people cannot achieve this sorta thing and thats rly sad but its not always completely in our control :(
but i wish u the absolute best of luck and i hope things pick up for u in the future..!!!
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cherubdisorder · 1 month ago
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THE GREAT LIL TRAUMA BOY INCIDENT (( STOP SUPPORTING O96O ))
Last year I had been sent an email from YouTube regarding a copyright strike on Lil trauma boy which I assumed to be one based on sample usage but turned out to be someone who had reuploaded my work under their name without prior contact or consent from me. Ever since then I’ve had an active back and forth with YouTube, Spotify and my distributor with proof of the work being mine in a full on document. As predicted none of them cared enough to look into my document and had completely swept me away, leaving me to never be able to upload the entirely of gabber due to them having copyright on my work.
I cannot express to everyone enough how much that entire scenario had impacted me, since I’m not a big artist nor did I ever think I’d be in a scenario like this, but due to the sudden rise in popularity the song had I guess it just caught on.
I wasn’t the only target here. They also uploaded the following without permission:
- lesbian vampire furries by Gabbra Kadabra (Foxi Boxi)
- Malo233 by K1osk
- Dr. Loonylegs gets E.Coli and dies by 4Lung
- Kawaii loli attack by nasty maid grinder
- insomniac by memoboy
As far as im aware and from what I’ve been told NOBODY here has given consent to this person. They’re profiting off of our work.
Ive made it very clear that I’m all for making my work accessible for people but I’ve made it very clear around that time that I didn’t want people to post my work on Spotify. I’m fine with people reuploading my work on YouTube with credit, but this was done behind my back without my permission on a platform I didn’t want to be on at the time.
All I’m asking you people for is to NOT STREAM ANYTHING THEY PUT OUT and to REMOVE IT FROM YOUR PLAYLIST. You’re giving someone who stole work money that was supposed to go to small artists. I know damn well how much this person is making off of Spotify and YouTube music and it just upsets me that this is happening. I don’t even give a single fuck about the money but I DONT agree with someone STEALING AND PROFITING OFF OF MY WORK, SAME FOR THE OTHER PEOPLE THEY STOLE FROM. This person has around 60K listeners that they shouldn’t even have. Give that to the actual artists they stole from. If you want to listen to a certain song so bad PLEASE put it in your LOCAL FILES. It’ll be accessible to you only and also don’t give money to someone who doesn’t deserve it.
At the end of the day I want people to not take my shit for granted. While I may be very laid back with a lot of things regarding my work, this is shit you should never pull on me.
I don’t care if I’m being pathetic by bringing this back up but I NEED PEOPLE TO BE AWARE. Please don’t give this person any more attention. Remove the songs, add them in your local files and even you want report them for plagiarism. If you care about us artists please do something about it.
Thats all, hope to never speak of this ever again!!!!
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